Books to the Sky

Archive for the ‘other category romance’ Category

destinyawaits1I think we have an instant classic here, gang. A spoiled heiress time travels back to the Old West and meets a handsome, be-mulleted hero.

Line, Publication Date: Harper Historical Romance, 1995
Cover Steaminess: 6. See the cover for yourself. It’s a classic clutch with a woman dressed in shockingly little given the bulk of this book takes place in 1885.
Back of Book Description: Here’s the book description.
Flowery Language Quotient: Medium-high. A couple of ham-fisted metaphors and off-color jokes, but otherwise not too bad.

We open in Carmel, CA, in 1995. Tess, a computer chip heiress, has a nasty cold. She fantasizes about sitting on the beach, sipping Perrier and reading Danielle Steel, then she mistreats her maid for a bit, then a mysterious lady shows up.

Tess acts insufferably rude, like a sad, spoiled child. I’ll save us some time and tell you that the lady is magic, and she talks about “inserting” Tess back where she belongs. Tess, apparently, belongs in Kansas. The lady tricks Tess into saying, “Spiritual Guide, I would like to have a look at my true fate.” Tess blinks, and suddenly, she’s outside and there are horses and dust and she is very confused.

Because Tess is now in Sweet Briar, Kansas, and it’s 1885! Read the rest of this entry »

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Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
--Arnold Lobel

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
--Groucho Marx

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